Okay, well... here i am again, waisting time

sorry, there isn't going to be any pictures in this one, i'm on a dell, and i have no idea how i would go about getting picture on the post...
I am really beginning to feel like school is a waste of time. I and NEVER doing anything anymore! even in my AP classes i hardly do anything. i do wish my teachers would give me some extra credit to do, then i would be busy and i could raise some of my grades!

That brings me to what i want to talk about next.. wishes.
I love wishing for stuff, or at least wishing i had something, and then dream about what i would do with it, or what would happen if. it doesn't really get me depressed. it will either give me a goal to work towards. or it gives me an opportunity to live a part of my life a different way, and it makes me satisfied with what i have.

I know i like to wish a lot, and sometimes it gets over whelming. I like to wish i was in the spiderman movie acting as mary jane, i also wish spiderman was real, and that if he was i would know who he was, and that he was my best friend. I know it's silly, but i do wish that! I also wish that i can provide for our family and take care of all expenses, such as school, mortgage, and importing a car for dad from sweden. new and top modle car! I wish i could express myself in a clearer way, and i also wish i wouldn't mix up words in a sentence. Like the other day i was trying to say don't try to take my pringles.. or something to that effect. but instead i said dont pringle my try take to. it makes me feel silly, and latly i have been really struggling with it and have been frusterated with myself. Luckly though i have been able to pull it off and make fun of myself so no one else will. I guess i'm just scared of people making fun of me for thinking to quickly and not being able to say what i want to express. i do get really excited when someone is able to understand what i say, and if you have ever heard me say "you speack Licia!" then you know you are doing something right. I also wish i was a great student. I have good grades but i think they could be better, but honestly, i'm to the point where i don't care. besides the fact that my teachers aren't having us do anything in class.

I wish i could convert everyone to the church. and show them why the gospel is true, and the happiness it brings me. I wish i could show them all these things and have them understand why they are the way they are. I have a few friends who are making so many stupid choices in life, and they keep fighting with me that i should try all these drugs and drinking. I tell them that it would bind me more than free me, because one of their big things is that it frees them. And i'm like, sure, that's why you always have to leave class half way through and run across the street for a smoke. you are really free when you get into an accident and kill someone because you have been drinking and driving. it usually quiets them down, but only for about a half hour. i think the world is starting to lose the motivation to be good and try for good things. which is really sad, because think of what our world would be if everyone was good and try to serve eachother. that's why i can't wait for the millenium. more people will be righteous and there will be less persecution of the saints. even if i'm not alive during that time, i'm still excited for those who will be.

i wish i was really poetic and deep. I know i can come up with some really good metaphors and such, but i can't explain in words what i feel. it would be really useful because i would be able to explain things more properly to others. even that sounds weird to me. hmmm...

I guess it will just take time, to work at all this and learn from mistakes i have made when explaining to my friends or even people at work why i do the things i do. I have tried making a point that everything i do is my choice. sure it's something the church advises not to do, but i choose not to do that. Any experiences from you guys??